"One Night" Comic Anthology Script

Not every pitch gets picked. Rejection is a regular part of the journey. It sucks, you never truly get used to it, and it can send you into a spiral of insecurity. I don’t really have much of a follow up there. It’s a thing that happens a lot. So anyway, here’s a rejected pitch I made a few years ago for the Pub Crawl Anthology.

The anthology called for stories whose only requirement was that it took place, at least in part, at a bar. It could be any genre, feature any theme, take place at any time, but had to have a scene at some sort of drinking establishment. In coming up with the concept, I decided to be really ambitious and go a little meta. So many stories take place in a bar, so many different people having their own little self-contained tales. What if this story told all of them at once, taking the POV not of the characters but of the bar itself?

The entire story takes place during one night at a bar and features a number of different storylines that begin and end at staggered intervals as the night progresses. Each storyline takes place in its own panel, and as new storylines begin, the panels per page increases. As they end, the panels per page decreases. For example, Page 1 is a splash page and begins one storyline; Page 2 features 3 panels and 3 storylines (2 new storylines and the continuation of the 1 from the previous page); and so forth.

Fun fact: I wrote this entire script during an overnight train ride from Los Angeles to Portland, Oregon. It was magical.



PAGE 1

Panel 1:
Full Page Splash of the interior to Wilson’s Bar. Near the top of the page is the entrance, the heavy wooden door in the middle of swinging back shut. A small podium and stool for the bouncer (currently unoccupied) stands to the left of the door. A series of tables are the left of the page—the dining area—while to the right of the page is the bar itself, a line of stools in front. The middle area remains more open for people to linger about and easily make their way to the back. Toward the bottom right of the page we see a few high top tables for people that want to sit and drink but not necessarily formally sit and dine; the entrance to the kitchen to the left. Finally, a wall of doors that lead to an outside area is at the very bottom of the page.

BARTENDER MARTY—20-something year old with messy hair wearing jeans and a button up plaid shirt—walk from the entrance toward the bar, where MARI—also in her mid-20s and attractive—currently bartends, black apron over her clothes. Mari smiles and waves at Marty. It’s early, so only a few patrons are scattered about.

Of note: A MAN drinks by himself at the bar—early 30s, dressed very casually (part of a storyline that begins on Page 2). A younger guy—early 20s, dressed in a nice shirt with styled hair—waits at one of the dining tables texting on his phone (part of a another storyline that begins on Page 2).

Caption: Wilson’s Bar. 7pm.

Marty: Mari! Ready to rock it?

Mari: Only till 11. I’m getting off “early” tonight. You got this, though.

Marty: Always do.

TITLES & CREDITS



PAGE 2

Panel 1:
Behind the bar, Marty—now in a black apron—prepares a drink order for a customer, a cocktail shaker already in one hand as he reaches for a bottle of dark liquor with the other. The customer rests one arm on the bar as he waits for his drink and chats with Marty.

Marty: It’s definitely one of my favs here. Smokey taste. More spirit forward.

Panel 2:
BEGIN DRINKING ALONE storyline. This panel focuses on the guy from the previous panel drinking alone at the bar. He sits on a stool and downs the last of his beer. Mari places another beer on top of a coaster in front of him.

Panel 3:
BEGIN FIRST DATE storyline. The younger guy at the dining table from the previous page half stands, that awkward position of having gotten up to welcome his date. He slips his cellphone back into his pocket with one hand and is in the process of reaching across the table with his other. ASHLEY—dressed in a nice top and skirt—stands on the other side of the table, having just arrived. She mid-laugh and leans toward him, her outstretched hand not quite there yet. It’s that self-conscious moment of meeting someone for the first time in person after messaging back and forth a few times on a dating app.

Ashley: John?

John: Yes! Ashley, hi.

Ashley: Sorry I’m late. I wa—

John: Oh, it’s no prob—Sorry. Go ahead.

Ashley: Hahaha. I was just going to say that I was stuck in “train traffic.” Whatever that is.

John: Oh my god! Yes!



PAGE 3
It’s a little later into the night and more people have begun to show up to the bar. We see a few more random people sitting at the bar and more people in the background of different panels. It’s not packed but a little busier.

Panel 1:
At the bar, Marty and Mari take drink orders from a few people. Near the front, but not yet ordering, we see a HUSBAND in his mid- to late-40s (part of another storyline beginning on this page). He’s decently dressed, long-sleeved button up and a tie, no jacket, and dark jeans. He looks slightly tired. We also see a PICK-UP ARTIST at the bar. Very smarmy looking, drink in hand, eyes checking out the women in the area. Note: He will be popping in and out of other storylines as we continue.

Drink Order to Marty: A vodka soda and a Blue Moon, please.

Drink Order to Mari: Can I try that Brickstone IPA?

Panel 2:
A friend arrives to meet the guy “drinking alone.” Small revelation but he wasn’t just a guy drinking by himself on a busy night. He was just waiting for someone.

Friend: Hey man! Sorry I’m late. Train delay. Ready to go? Next showing of Hyperdriver starts in 15.

Drinking Alone Guy: Way ahead of you. Already closed out and already got tickets!

Panel 3:
The first date between John and Ashley is going well. They’re both leaning toward each other, John with one elbow on the table, palm upward as he talks. Ashley’s crossed legs extend out slightly and subtly toward John and a real smile plays on her face.

John: —moved here about 2 years ago for the job. So, I like it. In this city especially, real estate is a good business to be in, you know? What about you? You’re in marketing, right?

Ashley: Ad design. I went to school for graphic design but didn’t want to go full starving artist. I got into it figuring it would pay well but I ended up really enjoying it. It’s way more creative than I—

Panel 4:
BEGIN ROCKY MARRIAGE storyline. Note: This entire storyline plays out silently. It’s all in the body language, a stark contrast to first date. Where John and Ashley are two people finding their magic, these two unfortunately have mostly lost it. A WIFE in her mid-40s sits at a dining table waiting for her husband to return with their drinks. She’s dressed nicely, in a form fitting dress. Although her arms are crossed, she doesn’t appear angry, just contemplative.



PAGE 4
It’s much, much busier now. It’s the busiest point in the night and there should be quite a few people in the background eating, drinking, and having a good time. That said, there’s a lot of panels on this page, so totally understandable if there aren’t a lot of wide, large panels showing a ton of people.

Panel 1:
A large crowd at the bar. Marty and Mari are mixing and pouring drinks. They’re working hard. Among the crowd, we see John, very happy with how the night is going. We also see two people in business casual outfits (leaning more toward casual than business). They are part of another storyline starting on this page focusing on an after-work hangout.

John: Glass of white and a Dark n’ Stormy.

Voice in Crowd: Two Jack and cokes, a mule, and a gin martini.

Voice in Crowd: Just an Old Fashioned, thanks.

Panel 2:
Ashley rolls her eyes and crosses her arms. At her and John’s table is the Pick-Up Artist from the previous page. He clearly just attempted to hit on her and she isn’t having any of it.

Pick-Up Artist: If I was your date, I’d never leave you by yourself.

Panel 3:
The Husband and Wife eat dinner in total silence. They’re both slouched a bit in their chairs and while their upper bodies appear to be leaning toward each other since they both have their elbows on their table, unlike with John and Ashley, their lower bodies are pulled back into their seats. The Wife pokes at her food with her fork.

Panel 4:
BEGIN AFTER WORK HANGOUT storyline. A group of co-workers drink and laugh and hangout. Two of them are currently in Panel 1 ordering at the bar, but the key characters are two women, Jill and Allie. These are two co-workers that are clearly interested in each other but at the moment they are talking to different people on opposite ends of the group. A co-worker and Jill discuss their supervisor while another co-worker attempts to play matchmaker with Allie, who has gone wide-eyed.

Co-Worker 1: Can you believe him in that meeting today? How did he get put in charge of that project? How?

Jill: Oh my god, I know. He’s such an ass-kisser.

Co-Worker 2: —think about Jill?

Allie: Jill? I mean, she’s, you know, I like Jill. I think she’s—

Panel 5:
BEGIN GIRLS’ NIGHT storyline. A group of girls getting ready for a night of drinks and fun at the high top tables. They are in the process of taking their coats off and hanging their purses on the backs of their chairs.

Girl 1: First round’s on me and we’re doing shots.

Girl 2: Tamara… no.

Girl 1: Tamara, yes!

Panel 6:
BEGIN NERDY GUYS storyline. A quick done-in-one storyline. A group of three nerdy friends hang out at the high tops. They just came from watching Hyperdriver and are having a few drinks and talking about the movie.

Guy 1: They’re in space! Why drive in a straight line? It doesn’t make sense is all I’m saying!

Guy 2: It’s a movie called Hyperdriver! It doesn’t have to make sense!

Panel 7:
BEGIN HOOK-UP storyline. Two strangers near the bar. One sits on a bar stool. They other stands next to them. They’re both smiling and chatting with each other.

Stranger 1: —come here often?



PAGE 5
We’re still around the busy time but now on the downswing. There are fewer people than the previous page but things are still rather busy throughout the bar.

Panel 1:
At the bar, Marty pours shots as Mari hands someone their check while taking another order from someone holding out their credit card. Two other co-workers are in line waiting to order.

Marty: You guys don’t actually have to form a line! It’s better if you spread out! Thank you!

Voice in Crowd: A whiskey ginger, please? House whiskey is fine.

Panel 2:
John and Ashley have finished their date. They walk toward the entrance very close, side by side. Ashley touches John’s arm.

Ashley: This was really great. Do you—we should do this again.

John: Definitely! I mean, that’d be great.

Panel 3:
The Husband and Wife sit awkwardly. The Husband’s glass is empty but the Wife continues to sip at his whiskey on the rocks. They both are leaned back in their chairs. Again their body language says everything.

Wife: [Sigh...]

Panel 4:
The co-worker hangout continues. There are maybe one or two fewer people than before. Jill and Allie are now closer together but still not next to each other. Co-worker 2 has moved from Allie to Jill, still playing matchmaker. Co-Worker 1 from the previous page has moved onto others, still complaining about his supervisor. Allie sips her drink but eyes Jill. She’s gathering her liquid courage.

Co-Worker 2: (whispering) Think you’re going to talk to her tonight?

Jill: (whispering) Shut up! She’s gonna hear you!

Co-Worker 1: —believe him in that meeting today? How did—

Panel 5:
The girls’ night group have several empty shot glasses at their table. Some are drinking mixed drinks, others have beer. They’re having a great time. The Pick-Up Artist approaches their table from off to the side.

Girl 3: I swear to god, if another asshole bothers us tonight...

Panel 6:
The two strangers from the hook-up storyline make out with each other in a corner of the bar.



PAGE 6
It’s drawing much closer to close. The bar has finally calmed down and there are a lot fewer people around.

Panel 1:
Marty works the bar by himself. Mari’s shift ended a little while ago. There’s only a few people at the bar, one or two placing drinks. The others closing out their tabs. As Marty hands a check to one customer, he talks with another.

Marty: What’s up, Milo? Rum and coke?

Milo: Yup!

Marty: Coming up. On me.

Panel 2:
The co-worker hangout has dwindled considerably. Jill and Allie are finally talking. Co-Worker 2 smiles to themselves as they talk to Co-Worker 1.

Jill: Hey! Finally getting to talk.

Allie: I know! Down for one more round?

Jill: That’d be great.

Co-Worker 1: Like, how did he even get in charge of that, you know? Makes zero sense.

Panel 3:
The girls’ night out group hug each other as they get ready to leave.

Girl 1: You guys are wonderful and beautiful! Keep CRUSHIN’ IT! See you lovelies next week!

Panel 4:
The Pick-Up Artist makes one last attempt at hitting on a girl closing out her tab. She doesn’t even look at him as she signs the check.

Pick-Up Artist: You pick up the check and I can pick up you.

Girl: Um, no.



PAGE 7

Panel 1:
The bar is practically empty as Marty starts clean-up. A person at the bar leaves behind a good tip as they close out.

Panel 2:
The Pick-Up Artist exits the bar, alone. He doesn’t look angry or sad. He’s actually smiling. The key takeaway from him is that he isn’t harassing the same girl all night, he isn’t a woman-hater. He’s just shooting his shot with every girl and when they turn him down, he’s just moving on to the next. He’s cheesy, not creepy.

Panel 3:
Jill and Allie are the only two left. They’re sitting close together, both grinning at each other. Allie has her arm around the back of Jill’s chair.

Allie: Want to get a drink again tomorrow? Maybe without everyone else?

Jill: Maybe at my place?



PAGE 8

Panel 1:
Full Page Splash of the empty Wilson’s bar, save for Marty. It’s closing time, and all the patrons are gone. The chairs are turned up onto the tables and the bar has been wiped down and cleaned. As Marty heads out the front, he flicks off the lights.

Caption: Wilson’s Bar. 2am.

END